Word of the Week
September 7, 2024
Areskō: Pleasing the Right One
But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men but God, who examines our hearts.
1 Thessalonians 2:4 NASB
My brother Mike has written a valuable book titled The People Pleaser’s Guide to Loving Others without Losing Yourself (Revell, 2021). In it he moves away from the conventional advice for chronic people pleasers: “People pleasing is bad, so focus on pleasing yourself, not others.”
He points out that there is both a negative and a positive side to pleasing others. Healthy living comes from learning how to choose wisely who you aim to please.
Not surprisingly, you can find a firm basis for that wise advice in the Bible. The New Testament has much to say about the practice of pleasing , and we can begin to gain from its teachings by looking at the Greek word for “please.”
In Greek, the verb “to please” is areskō [ah-RES-koh], which appears 17 times in the New Testament.
The word has a long history. All the way back to earliest Greek it meant to act in a way that gave pleasure to the gods or to other people. You would areskō someone by doing the things that would lead to a positive relationship with them, the things that would promote peace and acceptance.
In the Greek Old Testament, the word appears 60 times, very often to describe behavior that is good or righteous and therefore pleasing to God.
Look at the New Testament and you can see at least three different varieties of pleasing.
- Pleasing yourself
The apostle Paul sums up a discussion of hot, debated issues by warning that Christians with strong consciences should bear the weaknesses of others “and not just please ourselves” (Romans 15:1). He cites the example of Jesus: “For even Christ did not please himself” (Romans 15:3).
We live in a society where narcissism is all too common. Like small children (or budding teenagers), people are consumed with their own needs, not even aware of those around them.
God doesn’t approve of that kind of pleasing.
- Pleasing others
Pleasing other people can be good or bad, depending on the motives and priorities involved.
- Salome performed a (probably sensual) dance that pleased King Herod (Matthew 14:5; Mark 6:22). The lecherous ruler rewarded her by murdering John the Baptist. Pleasing a wicked person produces evil results.
- Paul strenuously denied any attempt to please people by watering down the gospel or compromising with evil (Galatians 1:10).
Pleasing people is bad when it attempts to win the favor of the wicked at the cost of minimizing that which is right.
- A wise plan can please people when it solves a problem in a way that meets legitimate needs. When there was a bottleneck in the distribution of aid to Jewish widows, the apostle proposed to solve it by appointing seven men to administer the funds. This plan “pleased the whole congregation” (Acts 6:5).
- Paul taught that a husband was responsible to please his wife, and the wife was responsible to please her husband, even though this would require time and effort that could otherwise be used to please and serve the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32-34)
- In fact, Paul claimed that he aimed to build satisfactory relationships with all kinds of people, both Jew and Gentile. “I please everyone in all things, not seeking my own benefit but the benefit of the many, so that they may be saved” (1 Corinthians 10:33).
Pleasing people is good when it represents an attitude of love and humility, based on a servant’s heart. However, there is another motive that underlies proper pleasing.
- Pleasing God
Paul’s first letter to the believers at Thessalonica made it clear that pleasing God is a central focus of the Christian life.
- . . . as you received instruction from us as to how you ought to walk and please God (1 Thessalonians 4:1).
- Those who persecuted the church “are not pleasing to God, but hostile to all people (1 Thessalonians 2:15).
He points to a military illustration of this point: No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him (2 Timothy 2:3).
Pleasing people by serving them and sharing God’s grace with them is good, but we ultimately do it to please the Lord who has called us into His service.
Who are you trying to please?
Study Hint:
Would you like to expand your study to the rest of the words in the same family? Here are the related terms for “please”:
Arestos (adjective) – pleasing (John 8:29; Acts 6:2; 12:3; 1 John 3:22)
Areskeia (noun) – pleasing (Colossians 1:10)
Anthrōpareskos – men-pleasers (Ephesians 6:6; Colossians 3:22)
Coming Up
The church I attended in Arizona had deacons and trustees. The one I attend in Indiana has elders and deacons. What officers did the first century church have? Next week we will look at the New Testament definition of a deacon.
©Ezra Project 2024
One Response
My aim is to please The Lord first and foremost. Everything else is secondary. When we attempt to please others, the goal is to allow it to be done with God first in mind.